ByWard Bear incident exceeds Ottawa’s annual excitement quota / by Iain MacNeil

OTTAWA — Following the tranquilization and removal of a bear roaming around Ottawa’s ByWard Market neighbourhood, the City of Ottawa announced that it has exceeded its excitement quota for the year.

The city goes to great lengths to track the excitement levels of both residents and the media to protect its traditional charm. If the level of excitement exceeds its allocated annual limit, the city risks devolving into a cosmopolitan metropolis complete with culture and other nefarious forms of pandemonium.

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